Slow Crone - Enough (2022)

If you told me this was an obscure EP made by a psychedelic rock supergroup in the sixties or an industrial goth rock supergroup in the nineties, I don't think I'd even question it. If you told me it's the debut EP of a solo artist in the 2020's, I might be sceptical at first. But that's what it is.

BANDCAMP

01. Wide Enough

02. Wanted

03. Hey Man

04. What's It

It's hard to describe what this sounds like. I could make a whole bunch of comparisons to a wide range of artists, like "this is what might happen if you locked Patti Smith, Dax Riggs and the ghosts of Kurt Cobain and Lou Reed in a studio and told them they won't get out until they make a great record together", but it'd feel kinda cheap to say that. Besides, if you were to lock Patti Smith, Dax Riggs and the ghosts of Kurt Cobain and Lou Reed in a studio together, I don't imagine they'd accomplish much since two of the artists in the equation would only be there in spirit (ba dum tss?). Or maybe they'd come up with a masterpiece, but it's not really relevant to this EP. I just wanted to think of an interesting comparison, then say the comparison doesn't make sense, and that's what I thought of, OK?

Actually, maybe it's pretty easy to describe what this sounds like: psychedelic churnings from an endless ocean. It's timeless in that it doesn't sound exactly like anything else, but at the same time it sounds like a perfectly logical consummation of all the wild ass rock made since the sixties ([wild ass] rock, not wild [ass rock]; this isn't ass rock). Other artists may be doing similar things, but usually it comes across as a conscious effort to emulate a fusion of timeless classics; this, on the other hand, has a very organic feeling throughout.

The first track sounds like what the soundtrack to the film Moxie should've been like, if only that film hadn't pandered to mainstream zoomer sensibilities. It's a very groovy and oddly catchy song bursting with primal "fuck you" energy, a perfect opening to wake your ears up to what they're about to ingest.

The second and third tracks are more of the same, as in consistent quality but nothing you wouldn't expect. They stand on their own, but in the big picture they honestly kinda blend in and it's possible to just zone out while listening.

The last track, though, is where things get kicked up a notch. Everything gets out of control. It's like being woken up by having boiling water thrown at your face, and then having to take part in a fist fight to the death while your face is melting. Yet, as awful as that sounds, the song kicks ass... as if that wasn't obvious from that hypothetical event being described in the context of this type of music. But still, that song does reach levels of ear abuse that might border on uncomfortable... which is undeniably great, considering it's the last track and guarantees that this EP is unforgettable.

Enjoyability: 9/10
Relistenability: 8/10
Memorability: 7/10
Coherence: 8/10
Flow: 8/10
Originality: 6/10
Epicness: 6/10
Nutshell: Enough said! Get it? Because the EP is called Enough. Sorry, I had to...

IA - Golden King Of The Forest (2020)

Apparently it's been seven years since the last IA release...? Well, these guys might take their time, but you can count on them to deliver absolute quality!

BANDCAMP

I'll be honest, the first time I heard IA was at the Roihuvuori town festival... I'll even admit I wasn't actually at the festival, but rather on my balcony. Roihuvuori is pretty small. Point is, immediately when I heard their music, I had to make sure I'd remember their name for years to come because they just blew me away.

With this song, they continue what they've been doing: shamanic metal. It might sound like a gimmicky non-genre "subgenre" of folk metal, but you'd be dead wrong to make that assumption because this isn't folk metal. It might have some influences from folk music, at least thematically if not so much musically (although it does, especially in the intro), but at their heart IA's music has a shamanistic spirit that most folk metal bands could never even dream of... so, they're better folk metal than actual folk metal bands.

Now, the question has to be asked: are they actually bringing anything new to the table? It'd be ignorant to claim that IA has reinvented the wheel, but what they've done is build on the existing wheel of progressive metal in a way that's their own while also remaining firmly grounded within the genre's expectations. Yet, it would feel somehow wrong to compare them to other bands. I mean, I could make the usual comparisons, but what's the point when IA could well stand on their own alongside those bands?

As for this single itself, it's extremely solid. It doesn't have any particular highlights, or rather it has so many highlights that none of them really shine through. There's one interesting psychedelic little bit in the middle that's extremely memorable, but I'd hardly call it the highlight of the song; I'd say the entire song is its own highlight and structured perfectly in such a way that it flows effortlessly, almost like a river, and looping it over and over again only makes it even better with each listen. That's rare enough to be remarkable!

However, with this comes the problem: even on first listen it became clear that in its entirety, this is not a very memorable song. There are riffs that are probably going to pop up in my head from time to time, but I'm not sure I'll remember that they're from this song. Not that I'd remember where half of the riffs I randomly remember are from, but that's beside the point.

The vocals are epic, at times achieving a vibe almost like ancient invocations. The guitars, bass and drums are all top-notch as well. Really, the only negative things I can say about this aren't even negative but rather it being less awesome than it could be if it was a different song; that is to say, this song considered purely by itself is damn near perfect and only when thought of in the context of progressive metal in general do its "flaws" become noticeable.

Enjoyability: 9/10
Relistenability: 9/10
Memorability: 6/10
Coherence: 8/10
Flow: 10/10
Originality: 7/10
Epicness: 8/10
Nutshell: IA churn on like a river, like a volcanic eruption, like a meteor, like a stampede of wild animals... they're unstoppable.